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I'm ready for the coming eclipse and for the second threat that could cast America into darkness.

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I saw a guy at the airport with a shirt that said “SAVE THE MANUALS” and I thought “Hell yeah, brother! You may need to reference them in the future. Glad to see another fan of documentation.” Then I saw a weird symbol like an H with a | down the center, and I realized it was a dude who just really liked stick shift cars.

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Knock knock!!!

who's there

Hike

hike who?

Unsuspecting son.
Dad waiting with
bated breath.
Sets the perfect trap.

#dadjokes #haiku

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“When drivers fail to yield for pedestrians, it’s not because they can’t see them, it’s because they don’t care.” Kudos to @VisionZeroYVR for this brilliant intervention. momentummag.com/vision-zero-ca #TheWarOnCars

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If vaccines caused autism, we would have high speed rail.

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Wait… so does the Easter bunny have a cloaca?

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Angel: resurrection?

Chalmers: in this part of Jerusalem? at this time on the Roman calendar? Using these burial customs? Localized entirely entirely within Joseph of Arimathea's tomb?

Angel: yes?

apostle Thomas: may I see it?

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Internet comes in via geosynchronous satellite that is directly ahead and can’t pass through the three masts, so we’ve altered course slightly to check email for the first time in a few days.

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Everyone wants a simple solution to the xz incident but the reality hurts. It's going to be expensive and hard work but if we all work together to yeet computers into the sun we might just be able to solve it

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evilstevie boosted

I read somewhere that Fitbits are just modern day Tamagotchis and the stupid animal you’re trying to keep healthy is just you. I think about that a lot.

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If you’re a neurodivergent christian CEO of your parent’s company, you’ve got the triple ‘tism!
Au-, bap-, and nepo-!

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Was thinking about tortoises. Got a bit confused. Think I need to get some sleep. Sweet dreams all 💤 🐢 💤

#sillyScribbles #tortoise #silly #nonsense #drawing

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evilstevie boosted

Very pleased to see a caterpillar when out and about earlier.

They seemed slightly less pleased to see me.

#sillyScribbles #photography #silly #drawing

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🐶💩⛳️ NEW THING!
We’ve created the ultimate 3D sports game, you can even choose a small/medium/large dog to suit your throwing style
vole.wtf/dog-poo-golf/

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mastod1.ddns.net

Mastod1 be nice. (sorry, closed for new registrations after a bunch of 'commercial/spamming' accounts jumped in - rule 3 on site)