evilstevie @evilstevie@mastod1.ddns.net

what to talk about in 1:1s

Permalink: https://wizardzines.com/comics/1-1s/

BOSS: I need you to put these coupon stickers on all the Pick Me Up boxes

EMPLOYEE: Do you care where we place those stickers?

BOSS: Yeah, *on the box*. Don’t make me repeat myself. Idiots.

Who do you think you are kidding

As a parent you never want your baby to drop below 60 hit points

CATHOLIC CHURCH: No meat on Fridays
PEOPLE: Ok so no eggs for breakfast
CC: No, eggs are ok
P: But eggs are chicken
CC: Not until they hatch
P: So the thing isn't the thing until it's born?
CC: Correct—um, no, wait.

I don’t mean to tell Banksy how to do his job but it would’ve been the funniest thing ever if after the Queen died he just stopped painting for like a year, until everyone was like, "Hang on a minute..."

[Spelling bee]

Judge: your word is “bird”

Me:

Judge: … “bird” is the word

Me:

Me: Pa pa pa pa, pa pa pa pa, pa pa pa pa
Ooma mow mow, papa, ooma mow mow

*buzzer sound*

Judge: incorrect

Ah-ha!

I want a job with the TSA so I can experience, for a brief moment, what it's like to not have consequences when I steal things

Whine is the product of fermented gripes

Entire brown loaf filled with crinkle-cut crisps
#DailyCrispSandwich https://vole.wtf/buttystock/~jimmeruk/17/

The Very Hungry Caterpillar - 2023 Edition
https://b3ta.com/board/11387588

For those yet to see it: Europe's sleeper trains, mapped... https://back-on-track.eu/night-train-map/ (Paris-Italy, and into Spain - those yawning gaps in the network just scream 'fill me!' don't they...)

This is NOT funny, pufferfish only do this when they're VERY scared.

I was doing an activity with my youngest and then told him I had to go back to work. He motioned to my laptop and said "Okay, go touch your letters daddy." which is such an amazing burn.

Mood:

Made a clock that shows the wrong time when it detects someone looking at it 👀🙂

Tim Burr: An oak tree fell on my house and crushed my children.

Lumberjack: I will shout your name each time I slay a tree.

@Richard_Littler
Scarfolk and reality have merged. I cannot tell which is which any more