More desirable alternatives to Farage:
Count Binface.
A randomly chosen Clacton resident.
A 2-week old baby.
An imaginary MP.
A blind, 15-year old Poodle.
Someone who didn't leave their house for 18 years, forgot their name, & stored all their shit in jars.
The victim of a parachute that failed to open.
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@Richard_Littler you forgot
"tripping and landing face-down on lego with your hands tied behind your back"
and
"passing a rather large kidney-stone"
I think
