Microsoft's simplistic progress messages are useless.
People who Don't Do Computer will still call people who Do Computer to Do Computer for them, and now the people who Do Computer have a lot less information about what is Happening.
(Yes, Windows has been "almost done" on this computer for a good bit now. Doing what? I don't know, stuff!)
It fell over anyway 
But it has been convinced to do what I need it to.
@evilstevie
Close. It involves formatting and installing Windows anew.
Believe me, I'd love to not have Windows here. Many would.